A digitally enhanced woodblock print showing the congealed wounded being taken from the field of Edgehill in 1642. British Library Collection, MarrickvilleA digitally enhanced woodblock print showing the congealed wounded being taken from the field of Edgehill in 1642. British Library Collection, Marrickville

Thank God for a hard frost!

During the evening after the inconclusive fighting at Edgehill on 23 October 1642, King Charles’ forces had retired to the nearby Warmington hills and Parliament’s army returned to their camp at Little Kineton and Kineton, Both forces left troops on the field to monitor each other’s position throughout what was a bitterly cold night with a HARD FROST. Fortunately for many of the wounded left lying on the field that night, the BITTER COLD actually allowed their wounds to congeal and saved many from bleeding to death or succumbing to infection. Therefore, bitterly cold weather is good for you.

This, the 35th Winter Camp, the Routiers will reenact the aftermath of Edgehill in the coldest known place in the arse end of the Blue Mountains, Black Springs.

The event will be, as always, fully catered, with a wonderful fully functional Chapel of the Holy Turd and a comraderie and fire pit that will warm the cockles of your heart. Any wounded will be placed away from the fire to congeal.

When – Over the weekend of 4-5th of August. Early arrivals on Friday 3rd are encouraged.

Events will include; eating, drinking, dicing, musketry – including the World Renowned Captayne’s Cup – archery, ceaseless drill movements, constant bowel movements, various games (including the madness of Cardinal Pell Mell), archery, and inane singing of silly and yet somehow poignant songs.

Beer will be available, as will the finest of wines, at ridiculous prices if not free.

Reply via email or Facebook if you wish to attend, would rather stay in a cosy common tent, have some straw to keep warm, eat things which are not meat, or need any other requirements which can be met by the Routiers…

Black Springs is around 3.5 hours drive from Sydney on a good day, via Oberon. If you want to bag a lift, please let us know. If you need directions to the encampment at Kennedy Park, Loch Erin Road, Black Springs, let us know.

Remember to bring warm stuff and put anti-freeze in your car. As opposed to anything else.

Cost will be around $40-$60 per reasonably adult person which covers meals, site fees, and straw. Congealment of any nagging, nasty wound is a free bonus.

Mid-17th C Living History Weekend – Fully Catered, with Authentic Loo! EVENTS – Eating, Drinking, Musketry – including the World Famous Captain’s Cup Competition, Archery, 17th Century Military Drill, Gambling, Music, Dance and Games including the Grand Pell Mell Tournament.

(also known as The Anthem)

From Macquarie to Gundaroo
From Odinfest to Morrisset too…

(chorus)
We must be strong and brave
The Mediæval Movement we’ve got to save
If the SCA plot suck-ceeds (ih! ih!)
They’ll destroy reality….

They ponce about in fancy dress
And suck up to the Baroness
They think that life’s a game of D&D…

(chorus)

They fool around with wooden sticks
They think they’re cool, but THEY’RE JUST PR*CKS!
They can’t accept that swords are made from steel…

(chorus)

They hit each other with rattan canes
And pulverise their stupid brains
They’ve never read a work of history…

(chorus)

(…and they did!)

© Andy Sinclair
Traditional, Orig. Macquarie Hackers (Tune: Starblazers)

Truly the Song of Songs! Where is the true re-enactor whose heart does not swell at the sound of its immortal strains? Where is the SCA dick-dog who does not cringe (or laugh) as their dirty (Lycra™) laundry is aired?

Originally written by the Macquarie Hackers, the University-based Mediaeval group whose members went on to form the core of the Routiers, this has to be one of the most well-known songs in the re-enactment scene. The second line originally said “From Odinfest to Maldon too”, but after the Routier’s historic victory at Morrissett, the name of that immortal battleground was substituted as being… how shall we say … more appropriate?

(tune: “O Tannenbaum” or “Oh Christmas Tree”)

O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
We saw your burning towers
O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
The fires burnt for hours
The people ther died by the score
Hundreds then, and thousands more
O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
Your people are no more…

O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
We saw your people burning
O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
Our stomachs were a-churning
The screams of death, they rent the air
A carnage caused by Routiers
O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
I’m glad that I was there!

(Commercial Verse)
That time has passed, but have no fear
New Magdeburg is rising
The tavern here is full of beer
And many people dicing
So come along, and have good cheer
A dollar fifty for a beer
O Magdeburg, O Magdeburg
Your spirit lives on here!

©1991 Dick Dog Music
by Sarge and Spike of the Routiers

This one was actually written (well, scrawled down on one of Helmut’s tissues) during a quiet moment at the New Magdeberg Tavern at the 1991 Convention. Sarge was in fine form that day, and we even wrote a commercial verse to attract the punters.

(to the tune of “I am Woman”)

WARNING: This song is not for the faint of heart!!

I am Routier, hear me roar
‘Cause I’m just too foul to ignore
And I bear the scars of Thirty Years of War;
I’ve got gout in me legs
And my teeth are blackened pegs,
But I’ll always find some comfort at the keg.

Oh, yes! I’m a thug, and I’m paid to dish out pain,
And yes, I’ll pay the price, but look how much I’ve gained,
If I’m paid to, I will do anything…
I am tough! (Tough!)
I am invincible (Invincible!)
I am Routier!

And When cannon’s mouths do roar,
And Imperial eagles soar,
Above the swaying mass of fighting men,
Then you’ll find me at the back
Of a furious attack,
Marching with my ashen pike on high;

Oh, yes! I am brave, but it’s courage brewed in beer
Yes! After a few jugs, I know there’s nought to fear,
If I’m drunk enough, I will fight anyone…
I am drunk! (Drunk!)
I am invincible! (Invincible!)
I am Routier!

And when the battle’s won
And the foe is on the run,
Then it’s time for all good soldiers to have fun….
Then I’ll get among the sluts
In the baggage trains and huts
And vent my lust between a young girl’s legs;

Oh, Yes! I am Gross, but it’s grossness born of need,
And yes! I’ll pay the price when my penis starts to bleed.
When I’m lustful, I will f*ck anything!
I am lewd! (Lewd!)
I’ve got syphilis! (Syphilis!)
I am Routier…….

©1989 Pierre La Bosche

One of the most well-known Routier songs, this may well be Pierre’s finest effort. It is as thoroughly disgusting to listen to as it is fun to sing, and is known as far and wide as the Routiers themselves are known. If we had a companie song, this would be it. Halleluleuh!